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Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication-Oren Jay Sofer

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Ebook About
Find your voice, speak your truth, listen deeply—a guide to having more meaningful and mindful conversations through nonviolent communication We spend so much of our lives talking to each other, but how much are we simply running on automatic—relying on old habits and hoping for the best? Are we able to truly hear others and speak our mind in a clear and kind way, without needing to get defensive or go on the attack? In this groundbreaking synthesis of mindfulness, somatics, and Nonviolent Communication, Oren Jay Sofer offers simple yet powerful practices to develop healthy, effective, and satisfying ways of communicating.  The techniques in Say What You Mean will help you to: • Feel confident during conversation • Stay focused on what really matters in an interaction • Listen for the authentic concerns behind what others say • Reduce anxiety before and during difficult conversations • Find nourishment in day-to-day interactions   “Unconscious patterns of communication create separation not only in our personal lives, they also perpetuate patterns of misunderstanding and violence that pervade our world. With clarity and great insight, Oren Jay Sofer offers teachings and practices that train us to speak and listen with presence, courage, and an open heart.” —Tara Brach, author of Radical Acceptance and True Refuge

Book Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication Review :



I have read quite a bit about communication and also about mindfulness, so I wasn’t sure if this book had much to offer me. Turns out, I found this to be a valuable read. I found that the way Sofer clearly and expressively brought a number of ideas (mindfulness, Nonviolent Communication, and somatics) together was a joy. I have encountered the vast majority of the ideas before, but I treasure the way that Sofer brought these ideas together (ideas which are clearly related, but often not combined). I think this stands out above and beyond all the other communication books I have read and highly recommend this to anyone. I will be giving this out as a gift this year.The basic premise is that you have to be open to yourself and to others in order to be able to communicate in the truest and most connected way. This is a practical book and a deeply moving book at the same time, and, indeed, that is rather the point. Safer explains how the way we communicate affects our relationships, including our relationship with ourselves. Running on autopilot is not the best way to relate. We need to understand where we are coming from and where the other person is coming from. Using observations, emotions, needs and requests, we can focus on what is important.Since, at least at the time I am writing this, there is no “look inside” feature, here are the contents:PART 1: The First Step: Lead With Presence1: the center of our lives2: the power of mindfulness3: relational awarenessPART 2: The Second Step: Come From Curiosity and Care4: the blame game5: where are you coming from?6: don’t let the call dropPART 3: The Third Step: Focus On What Matters7: getting down to what matters8: emotional agility9: enhancing empathy and inner resilience10: how to raise an issue without starting a fight11: if you want something, ask for itPART 4: Bringing It All Together12: the flow of dialogue13: running the rapids14: conclusion: charting your courseHighly recommended! This book has the potential to bring much good to your life, IMHO.But that's JustMe
I'm a therapist who works with families and communication is literally my bread and butter. That being said I've read no other book that has broke down how to improve my own communication and explained how effective and heart centered communication works as well as this book has. It has concrete practices that I did with my girlfriend over the phone and in person. It helped our own communication get better and really opened up space for us to dive into the deep stuff. The book breaks down in a step by step fashion how to slowly engage in learning and practicing communication better. It opened my heart to really seeing how communication was developed for me at a young age and how I still carry old patterns of communication that were no longer needed. And through practicing some concrete practices I've noticed a huge difference in only a few weeks. If you're looking for a book around improving your own communication in an easy to read yet deeply insightful book, you've found it.

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